Tidbits
A lot of people get a little nostalgic around the Christmas season. Naturally, we tend to look back on past years and remember those who are no longer with us. The times we grew up in were very different than they are now. Everything was different, including the way some of us were raised. Home schooling in the 40s, 50s and 60s was quite a bit different than it is now. In case they have slipped your mind, the following are some examples of our upbringing:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that it will come out of the carpet.”
3. My father taught me about time travel.
“If you don’t straighten up, I will knock you into the middle of next week!”
4. My father taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My mother taught me more logic.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you’re run over by a bus!”
7. My father taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Just look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
11. My mother taught me about the WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it.”
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate!”
13. My father taught me the circle of life.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it from your father when you get home!”
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”
19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
20. My father taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.
25. My father taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day, you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas.
Jim was a writer-broadcaster and producer on television and radio for 40 years. Listen to his podcasts Radio Redux & Mid-Century Memories on Lifestyles55Radio.ca or www.whatsupwinnipeg.ca
