I have to begin by saying I am still a bit apprehensive about writing for this publication given the difference in my worldview from the publisher’s. Some might criticize me by saying I am supporting the spread of misinformation about many issues and engaging in other divisive tactics.
Well, writing in a publication by conservatives is one attempt to practice what I call the Politics of Unity. It is the opposite of the politics of division or “divide and conquer,” blame and shame, “winning” at all costs, and abusing power. The Politics of Unity uses power democratically for positive change rather than power for the sake of power or to protect power. There is so much of that now.
The Politics of Unity blurs us and them for a substantive shift from me to we, where there is only us. After years in politics, education, and community work, I feel the need to bring conflict resolution concepts, tools and practices not just to our interpersonal relations but to political structures and procedures. Many people talk about shifting our political culture so it is less brutal, reactionary and retaliatory. The Politics of Unity includes many social innovation tools and guides with forty principles, ideas and aptitudes, leaning toward political psychology for a trauma-informed politics.
One of the key concepts is moving from debate to dialogue. This requires different skills, awareness, structures and procedures for decision-making. The differences between debate and dialogue are clear.
Debate vs. Dialogue
| Debate | Dialogue |
| Winning, defeating, convincing | Understanding, exploring, perhaps agreement |
| Attack and defend; escalates to violence | Listen and share information; de-escalates |
| Leads to personal attacks | Focuses on the issue, not personalities |
| Ends can justify the means | Means and ends are more congruent |
| Damages relationships | Builds relationships |
It is important to appreciate how our current structures and procedures encourage debate and discourage dialogue. The setup of legislatures—with an opposition and a government, pro and con microphones, winner-takes-all voting, and hierarchical institutions—are some examples. It is easy to see how current structures lead to escalating conflict, incivility, hyper-partisanship and polarization once we have a clear picture of how conflict escalates.
The Three Ps of Politics
The Politics of Unity evolved to include the three Ps of politics: policy, process and power.
Process or procedure considers power structures on a scale of democracy—from dictatorial and autocratic, to representative democracy and voting, to participatory democracy based on dialogue and forming agreements.
The third P is power: how we view, define and approach it.
Power Styles
Power Styles asks the question: how do various communication and conflict styles from the Thomas-Kilmann model view power? I came up with five Power Styles that fit the five types:
- Aggressive — Power Monopolizing
- Passive-Aggressive — Power Broker
- Passive — Power Avoidant
- Submissive — Power Abdicator
- Assertive — Power Sharer
Each has an outline of characteristics, bases of power, orientation to power and drivers.
What is important is understanding that we can all use these various styles at different times under stress, fear or threat, but it is the assertive style that sets the stage for collaboration and innovation in addressing challenges. It is with dialogue and the Politics of Unity that we make our diversity work for us—not by compromising, but by finding new options and solutions that would never come to light without dialogue among people with different perspectives and interests.
The fields of conflict resolution, psychology and community development have much to offer politics and our ability to bridge what divides us so we can make the progress we need. Not only can we rate our politicians for their Power Style, we can rate ourselves.
Marianne hosts new CKUW Community Radio show
Dialogues: Gravel Roads to City Lights
CKUW 95.9 FM has a new show co-hosted by Marianne Cerilli and Kalynn Spain: Dialogues: Gravel Roads to City Lights. The show practices dialogue on the air with guests from rural and urban Manitoba in conversation: hot topics, cool heads. It airs Fridays at 8 a.m. in a time slot shared with Wooden Spoons, a show about health, food and community.
Visit CKUW.ca to listen.